SOMETIMES ETERNAL LIFE SUCKS

You will hear only my voice, and you will obey. You will buy only Hormel products, because they are delicious and nutritious...God, this job is even further beneath me than the one in the coffin showroom...

DRACULA'S REAL MOTIVATION

Yes, my Queen, now that you have joined me in undead matrimony all this shall be yours for eternity! By the way, there's a feather duster in the bureau next to your coffin...